No, my friend is not Joey Tribbiani. I am pretty sure about this, since my friend loves sharing her food, much to my waistlines dismay. The two do have something in common though. Wisdom. Lots of it.
On haute cuisine.
Don’t put fucking ketchup on pasta. Every time you put ketchup on pasta, an Italian dies. On that note: No pineapple on pizza. Please.
On short people.
No worries. “The best wine comes in small bottles.”
Do you know those triangle cheese blocks you buy in the supermarket that come in plastic? And then when you’ve used it once and want to use it the next time, the cheese looks all sweaty and tastes manky? Once used, remove all the plastic and wrap the cheese in paper kitchen towel, then in a dry cloth, and then back in the fridge.
Trying to make a point? If you don’t speak with your hands, you’re not speaking at all.
On regrets and constantly living in the past.
U se u l’é u paie de cujasse. Meaning: “What if” is the father of all stupid people. Don’t keep looking back on what could have been. Look at the future.
“Don’t always listen to what an Italian tells you. We think we’re the best thing since nutella.”